The Naked Truth of It

Lately I have been doing a lot of work when it comes to myself.  I am not talking about me physically working..like cleaning the house or anything like that.  Just ask my husband....I have certainly not spent much time doing that.

What I have been doing is working with a coach.  And she pushes me. She sets the bar just outside my comfort zone and makes me reach for it.  She encourages me.  And she sees my potential - and that in itself is freeing.  Now this coaching relationship is not all love and pink fluffy Unicorns.  It is a relationship that is based on truth and trust.  And sometimes that means that she has to tell me to quit whining and get my shit done.  Now you may be thinking that this is a little harsh.  Let me tell you it is exactly what I need in that very moment.  Her words slice through the fear and free my feet.  They allow me to get my ass moving and start gaining momentum.  And for this I am grateful.

Now this post isn't really here to tell you about how wicked awesome my coach is....that would be deserving of a post all on its own.  What I want to talk to you about is the naked truth of it.

Whenever you decide that you want something bigger and brighter for yourself it involves a lot of work.  And that work isn't all fun.  It means spending time looking at what lies you have convinced yourself of being true.  It means digging around in the darkest corners of your mind.  Shining light on all of your fears and looking them in the eye.  And this does not happen over night.  At least it hasn't for me.  And I am grateful that it is a bit of a process because it means that I only have to look for as long as I can stand to and then I am free to scamper back to the light.

I am three weeks into this journey and there have been times where I have wanted to quit.  To just curl up into a fetal position and rest easily knowing my own patterns will continue to serve me.  You see I have learned that I am a person who lives life all in.  The throttle is wide open, I am in high gear and the gear shift is ripped right off....there is no slowing me down.  Now this can be a huge adrenaline rush....and it typically is...but it can also be a lot like a roller coaster coming off its tracks.  It is all consuming and it is exhausting...and once the coaster car leaves the track....I am left burnt out.  With nothing left to give...to my work, my friends, my family or even myself.  This is a pattern that I am willing to break.  To modify in a way that suits me.  To learn to down shift gears once and awhile.  Even pull over and enjoy the view.

There are times when it feels like I have pried open the lid to Pandora's box.  And the suppressed emotions and fears are flying up at my face like bats flying out of cave.  It's uncomfortable and it is downright scary.  And I question why it is that I do it.  And I ask...Is this worth it?  Fear plays tricks on me.  Tells me that I am not worthy.  I  don't deserve it.  That freedom, fame, fortune, happiness will never be mine.  It is in those moments where I  need to sit with the fear.  Thank it for being there with me and ask it what it is trying to show me.  Breathe it in....and then breathe it out and breathe in all of my dreams.  Let them illuminate my heart and lead my way out of the darkness.  The best part of working with a coach is that when I feel that I am so wrapped up and stuck in the fear all I need to do is reach out and ask my coach to hold the lantern and shine light on the path.

I am here in this moment because I am meant to be here.  Right here.  In this very place.  You and I...All of Us....possess a beautiful gift that is meant to be used to shine light on the path of others.  I refuse to let fear stand in the way of me doing so.  I hope you do too.

I wish you a day as Beautiful as You Are!

Much Love,

Lisa

Ps.  I you want to learn more about the coach who is helping me on my journey check out www.maivucoach.com