Can you believe it? 2014 is half over. Six months have already slipped away into the past. Even as you read this more and more time is slipping away.
So I have a question for you. How did the first half of 2014 treat you? Are you on target to achieve your goals? Do you even remember which direction you were heading in when the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2014?
Each and every year for the past two years I sit down on New Years Eve and I review the year that is coming to an end. I look at all that I achieved and all that I didn't. I catalogue my growth in areas and I look to see where improvements can be made. Then I look at where I want to go in the New Year. I document the details, toast my husband with Champagne and head to bed dreaming of all the beauty that the new year will bring.
I keep the goals mostly in mind as I move forward however, I always seem to get off track. This year I promised myself to spend more time and energy focusing on what it is that I wanted to create. And as the mid point of the year arrives I get the chance to look over those goals. To assign myself a report card.
At the moment I would have to say that I would grade myself a B -. My inner critic wants to stamp it with a big red F and call it a day. But the fact of the matter is...I have done some good work. I have taken some risks and stepped outside of my comfort zone. I have worked with clients and those clients have achieved some of their desired results. I have also watched a lot of Netflix and never launched the group programs that I was working on. I never took the final step. I let fear create obstacles. I didn't stand up for myself. I let doubt creep in.
One of my most foolish limiting beliefs was brought to light last week when I was running a casual workshop called F*ck the Stuck. Somehow I got it in my mind that EVERYONE has read the same books as me. They have received the same takeaways as me and if I was to incorporate those learnings into a class/course/program you would all sit there going "Who does she think she is? I know this already. This is not an original thought. FRAUD." Now as I look back on this I see that it was preposterous notion. How could anyone see things through my exact same filter? Answer: They couldn't. And it is also highly unlikely that in the last 7 years that I have been on this journey that they read the same 70 + personal development and self help books as me.
On top of that how many thoughts are original? Aren't we mostly just recycling that which we have heard and experienced before? We have to be if statistics are true. It is said that we have 60,000+ thoughts a day and 95-97% of them are the exact same as they were the day before.
So what am I doing with this new found knowledge? Blogging about it. Simmering on it. And in the two days that I have been working since I learned that tidbit I have created one and a half programs. And one of them launches a week from yesterday. F*ck the Stuck. My time is now. 2014 is half over. And even if I perform at the same level as I did at the beginning of the year I am further ahead than I was when the clock ran out on 2013.
How are you measuring up to your goals set six months ago? What is getting in your way?
Regardless if you are on track and sailing right along or if you are in the weeds...It is never too late to improve on where you are at.
I wish you all the success you desire in the remaining months of 2014.
Have a Day as Beautiful as You!
So Much Love,
Lisa
Tuesday 1 July 2014
Wednesday 14 May 2014
#WiseWednesday
Pain is Inevitable - Suffering is Optional. I am not certain why it is that I feel compelled to blog on this topic because let me tell you...this quote brought with it a lot of turmoil in my life when I last posted it. However, I am feeling drawn to writing about it again...so hold on 'cuz here we go.Do you ever choose to suffer in your life? I know that I do. Often in fact. And it doesn't feel very good to admit it here...but it is the truth.
How do I define suffering? Well, suffering is me not choosing to move on from a situation. For wanting to wallow around in the pain of it. Telling myself that it is something that I need to be doing. Would you like an example? Here is a recent one...I have been developing a product. This includes filming some videos. The topic is surrounding self doubt and self sabotage. I have never made these videos before and I keep getting trapped in my own cycle of self doubt. Technological issues really trip me up. If it is not incredibly basic I will spin around and around, not moving forward because I will never figure it out. Then...I start to beat myself up. I tell myself I was stupid for even trying, it is never going to work. What a failure. And then I topped it with what my BFF and I call "suffering gravy". This is where I bemoan the fact that it didn't turn out. And allow this to stop me from moving forward onto a new project. Unwilling to see what good came from the previous attempts, what silver linings were present, what new learnings revealed themselves. I sit in this place and I fester here until the pain of sitting in it outweighs the fear of change. This can take seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months or even years. It all depends on where the suffering stems from.
My mind is great at picking up old episodes of suffering off the shelf, dusting them off and replaying them like they are new releases. The pain of that past moment does not need to exist in my present moment. The only reason it shows up is because I have brought it here with me. If I wanted to...I could let it go. I could return the suffering to the shelf and allow myself to be present in this moment...a place where the past and future do not exist.
This can sound like I am just being over simplistic and perhaps even uncaring to whatever situation you may have faced or been facing but that is not true. I make it a practice in my life to love people (and myself) because of their past and inspite of their past. It is those experiences that have moulded and shaped you to become this beautiful being that you are in this moment.
The wisdom that I want to share with myself and anyone reading this is that we need not suffer. We can leave the suffering of years and even seconds ago in the past where it belongs. All we need to do in order to do that is to let go. Connect with your breath. Breathe in deep into your belly. Follow your breath in through your nose, nasal passages, throat, chest, lungs and into your belly. Witness it there. Then watch as it leaves the belly travelling up into the lungs and chest, into your throat and mouth and nasal passages out into the world. Let it go. Listen to the sounds around you. See if you can feel a breeze blowing gently across your skin. Check in with your body and ask what it needs to feel freedom, joy and love. Repeat this as many times as necessary. I think that you will find you are no longer swimming in suffering gravy.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this blog post. So please feel free to comment or email me.
Wishing you a day as Beautiful as you.
Much Love,
Lisa
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Tuesday 13 May 2014
#ChooseDayTuesday
#ChooseDayTuesday...A day of the week dedicated to choices. A weekly reminder that we ALWAYS have a choice. Even if we do not believe that we have one.
It is funny how easily it is for me to fall into the belief pattern that I have no choice in a situation. For example...Tuesdays are my big client day. I love having a day that I get to spend the day coaching female entrepreneurs. Helping them to create a plan so that they can work less, play more and create a financially viable business.
But there are some days when I wake up and I tell myself that my only option is to do my work. My to do list feeling like it is a "Have" to do list. A list devoid of choices. Rather than a "Get" to do list. This morning I was fretting that I had so much to accomplish in a day. I looked at my coaching schedule and felt like I had no choice but to put my coaching hat on. But truth be told...I had another choice...I could have called in sick, sat on my bed, eating cheetos and watching netflix or working on other things. But that wouldn't have been in my best interest nor would have it been in my clients. What matters is the simple reminder that we always have a choice. There are always options. We don't have to like those options but we do have them.
What are you choosing today? Today - I am choosing to take small steps that will move me closer to achieving my goals.
Wishing you a Day as Beautiful as You!
Much Love,
Lisa
Monday 12 May 2014
#MindsetMonday
On a whim I decided to check out my blog....just to see...when exactly was the last time that I posted. And WOW...I need to blow the dust off. So here is an impromptu post....talking about the importance of the proper mindset.
Have you ever started your work week with...Oh Shit It Is Monday? With the level of enthusiasm matching what you would muster to go to the dentist for a root canal with a hangover? We have such a dislike on for Mondays. We expect the worst from a Monday...and then it comes as no surprise when the day is filled with detours and disappointments.
What if we looked at it as though it could hold just as much promise if not more so than any other day? What could happen then?
The thoughts we think set us up for success or for failure. Our mindset is the key to our future. It is said that we have upwards of 60,000 thoughts per day and 95% of them are identical to the thoughts we had the day before. It is like one big loop. It is important for us to check in...are my thoughts positive? or Negative? Will they bring me closer to what I want? Or further away from it? Now take it a step further...what do I need to be telling myself so that I am empowered to be successful in making what I want a reality?
The more frequently we check in the better off we will be. Now it is easy for me to write this but much more difficult for me to apply it. In fact there are so many different times that I talk myself out of doing something that could positively impact my life. I tell myself that it is hard so why bother, that no one would appreciate it, that I have nothing of value to say and other bullshit like that. When I find myself in a cycle like that I need to snap out of it.
My favourite way to do that is as simple as a two minute fix. If you work with me you will know it as a 2 minute random dance party. Pick your favourite mood boosting, fear blasting, booty shaking song and get it playing on youtube or itunes and get up and dance. I bet that by the time you are done...you are feeling better. If that didn't work choose another song and try it again and break out your cheesiest moves.
I want to know your best mindset improving tips so please add them to the comments...let me know what works for you. I just may ask you to share them with me on my podcast.
Are you wanting to connect more? Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Or if you would prefer...spend an hour with me learning what could be stopping you from getting what you want in your life and business. Visit my website to contact me.
Until next time...Have a Day as Beautiful as You!
Much Love,
Lisa
Have you ever started your work week with...Oh Shit It Is Monday? With the level of enthusiasm matching what you would muster to go to the dentist for a root canal with a hangover? We have such a dislike on for Mondays. We expect the worst from a Monday...and then it comes as no surprise when the day is filled with detours and disappointments.
What if we looked at it as though it could hold just as much promise if not more so than any other day? What could happen then?
The thoughts we think set us up for success or for failure. Our mindset is the key to our future. It is said that we have upwards of 60,000 thoughts per day and 95% of them are identical to the thoughts we had the day before. It is like one big loop. It is important for us to check in...are my thoughts positive? or Negative? Will they bring me closer to what I want? Or further away from it? Now take it a step further...what do I need to be telling myself so that I am empowered to be successful in making what I want a reality?
The more frequently we check in the better off we will be. Now it is easy for me to write this but much more difficult for me to apply it. In fact there are so many different times that I talk myself out of doing something that could positively impact my life. I tell myself that it is hard so why bother, that no one would appreciate it, that I have nothing of value to say and other bullshit like that. When I find myself in a cycle like that I need to snap out of it.
My favourite way to do that is as simple as a two minute fix. If you work with me you will know it as a 2 minute random dance party. Pick your favourite mood boosting, fear blasting, booty shaking song and get it playing on youtube or itunes and get up and dance. I bet that by the time you are done...you are feeling better. If that didn't work choose another song and try it again and break out your cheesiest moves.
I want to know your best mindset improving tips so please add them to the comments...let me know what works for you. I just may ask you to share them with me on my podcast.
Are you wanting to connect more? Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Or if you would prefer...spend an hour with me learning what could be stopping you from getting what you want in your life and business. Visit my website to contact me.
Until next time...Have a Day as Beautiful as You!
Much Love,
Lisa
Tuesday 4 March 2014
How Do You Feel? Aka Day 2 of 20 - List Building Blogging Challenge
Today's prompt - How Do My Clients Feel Before They Work With Me?
This is a relatively simple question for me to answer. And the reason for this is that my ideal clients are feeling the way I once was. So it makes it easy for me to be in touch with those emotions.
Before working with me my clients are....
Feeling frustrated. They want to have it ALL. The career, the love life, the lifestyle and the cash to pay for it all. They take stock of their life and realize...they may be rocking some areas of this and the other areas are falling flat.
Women come to me wanting to know how to cash in on their passion. They have a business that they love (or an idea for a business that they are in LOVE with). They are pouring their heart into it. They are doing their best to dodge the fear land mines that are standing in their path. Even though they don't know exactly how they can grow their business are wanting to move it forward. They fight the battle of sticking it out and making it work or *gulp* giving it up and getting a job. Even the very thought of getting a job makes their stomach turn.
They are feeling trapped. The biz isn't bringing in the dinero, the cake, the cash, the flow that they need/want. They have people in their lives that are looking at them, waiting to say....I told you so....get a real job, give up the dream and get back to reality. These people are just projecting their own fears onto the Rebel Hearted Woman. The Rebel Hearted Woman knows that she feels most alive when she is chasing her dream. When she is doing what she loves best and serving the World from her heart. If she could only get her fears and the naysayers to shut up.
They are looking around their lives and knowing that it could hold so much more if they only had someone who believed in them. Secretly they are asking....how can I have it all? Am I just being selfish? Is it possible to... Travel the World - Totally Possible! Fulfilling Relationship - Absofuckinglutely! Rocking Business - Uhm Hello Why are you doubting this?! A sense of Community and comfort knowing that you are not the only one wanting it all and going about making it reality? - CHECK!
Sometimes they have their business all figured out and the romance department is totally off the tracks. Oh sure they would like to have a partner that treats them right. That knows what a catch they are. But relationships take work and so do new businesses so they pour themselves into the biz. They date a person who is not a good fit because hey...we get lonely and the bed gets cold. All work and no play makes Jane a dull and bitchy gal. Sometimes it is even worse than that...they have this fucked up belief that they can't actually have it all. One can only be blessed in one area of their lives at a time....so if I want my business to rock I have to settle for someone that treats me good "most" of the time. LIES!!!!!!! Big Ass Bold Face Lies!
My clients also flock to me feeling like they have some serious money blocks. They are doing what they should and still the World conspires to take their money. For example: They are signing up new clients, the bank account is in the black, that new pair of Jimmy Choos are looking like a reality and then....BAM! The car breaks down, the dryer stops drying and the deep freeze has turned into a defrosted puddle of mushy meats. Proof that you can't have it all right??? WRONG! Absolutely untrue and yet still a lie masquerading as a truth.
Most recently I have also found that my clients come to me wanting to reunite with their Rebel Hearted side - to step outside their comfort zones. We get comfy and complacent and the next thing we know...we have lost momentum. Our fears kick in and soon we are overwhelmed and stuck. I have learned that I have a beautiful knack for holding space for people. I can hold your feet to the fire while standing next to you. We can break through fear barriers together. We can do this through emotional and verbal exercises....or we can jump off a mountain. You choose...I am up for both.
Regardless of how my clients come to me feeling I am always more excited about how they feel after they have worked with me....stay tuned for a future blog post featuring some wicked client testimonials and outstanding results.
Are you interested in receiving more juicy tidbits about having it all? Please subscribe to The Rebel Yell by clicking HERE.
Want more personalized attention than that? Apply for a complimentary and confidential Power Hour. 60 delicious minutes spent discovering what you want to achieve, where you are currently and what the gaps are that are keeping you from having it all. APPLY HERE
Wishing you a day as beautiful as you!
Much Love,
Lisa
This is a relatively simple question for me to answer. And the reason for this is that my ideal clients are feeling the way I once was. So it makes it easy for me to be in touch with those emotions.
Before working with me my clients are....
Feeling frustrated. They want to have it ALL. The career, the love life, the lifestyle and the cash to pay for it all. They take stock of their life and realize...they may be rocking some areas of this and the other areas are falling flat.
Women come to me wanting to know how to cash in on their passion. They have a business that they love (or an idea for a business that they are in LOVE with). They are pouring their heart into it. They are doing their best to dodge the fear land mines that are standing in their path. Even though they don't know exactly how they can grow their business are wanting to move it forward. They fight the battle of sticking it out and making it work or *gulp* giving it up and getting a job. Even the very thought of getting a job makes their stomach turn.
They are feeling trapped. The biz isn't bringing in the dinero, the cake, the cash, the flow that they need/want. They have people in their lives that are looking at them, waiting to say....I told you so....get a real job, give up the dream and get back to reality. These people are just projecting their own fears onto the Rebel Hearted Woman. The Rebel Hearted Woman knows that she feels most alive when she is chasing her dream. When she is doing what she loves best and serving the World from her heart. If she could only get her fears and the naysayers to shut up.
They are looking around their lives and knowing that it could hold so much more if they only had someone who believed in them. Secretly they are asking....how can I have it all? Am I just being selfish? Is it possible to... Travel the World - Totally Possible! Fulfilling Relationship - Absofuckinglutely! Rocking Business - Uhm Hello Why are you doubting this?! A sense of Community and comfort knowing that you are not the only one wanting it all and going about making it reality? - CHECK!
Sometimes they have their business all figured out and the romance department is totally off the tracks. Oh sure they would like to have a partner that treats them right. That knows what a catch they are. But relationships take work and so do new businesses so they pour themselves into the biz. They date a person who is not a good fit because hey...we get lonely and the bed gets cold. All work and no play makes Jane a dull and bitchy gal. Sometimes it is even worse than that...they have this fucked up belief that they can't actually have it all. One can only be blessed in one area of their lives at a time....so if I want my business to rock I have to settle for someone that treats me good "most" of the time. LIES!!!!!!! Big Ass Bold Face Lies!
My clients also flock to me feeling like they have some serious money blocks. They are doing what they should and still the World conspires to take their money. For example: They are signing up new clients, the bank account is in the black, that new pair of Jimmy Choos are looking like a reality and then....BAM! The car breaks down, the dryer stops drying and the deep freeze has turned into a defrosted puddle of mushy meats. Proof that you can't have it all right??? WRONG! Absolutely untrue and yet still a lie masquerading as a truth.
Most recently I have also found that my clients come to me wanting to reunite with their Rebel Hearted side - to step outside their comfort zones. We get comfy and complacent and the next thing we know...we have lost momentum. Our fears kick in and soon we are overwhelmed and stuck. I have learned that I have a beautiful knack for holding space for people. I can hold your feet to the fire while standing next to you. We can break through fear barriers together. We can do this through emotional and verbal exercises....or we can jump off a mountain. You choose...I am up for both.
Regardless of how my clients come to me feeling I am always more excited about how they feel after they have worked with me....stay tuned for a future blog post featuring some wicked client testimonials and outstanding results.
Are you interested in receiving more juicy tidbits about having it all? Please subscribe to The Rebel Yell by clicking HERE.
Want more personalized attention than that? Apply for a complimentary and confidential Power Hour. 60 delicious minutes spent discovering what you want to achieve, where you are currently and what the gaps are that are keeping you from having it all. APPLY HERE
Wishing you a day as beautiful as you!
Much Love,
Lisa
Monday 3 March 2014
Day One of Twenty List Building Blog Challenge - What Do I Love About My Business?
What Do I Love About My Business?
The fact that I made it up of course! It is true...my company is a made up "job" that brings me many gifts. Freedom, Pleasure, Passion, Purpose and Joy.
One day I was speaking my truth and I offended a follower on Facebook. Let's call her Sandra Sufferer. This called in the drama, and allowed for everyone's fear to flood the surface. Later I discovered that Sandra Sufferer had posted on Facebook that I was so pathetic that I needed to make up my own job. And the effect of reading that statement was so....freeing!
I loved it. Of course I made up my own job. Before reading this I was trying to fit into the role of a life coach. And I had no fucking idea what a life coach was. I gave myself permission to drop the title of coach. I started to play with my title. I am a Community Creator and Connector. I am a Rebel Hearted Woman. I am exactly who I am in any given moment.
My business allows me to be me. I am able to stand in my truth, to speak my truth, to listen, to hug, to heal, to play and grow. To Glow and To Flow. I am able to help women stand and speak their truth. I am able to create and hold space for women to transform their lives. I am able to do what I love and love what I do every moment of every day.
Who wouldn't love that?
Are you looking to connect with your passion? Want to stand in and speak your truth? Curious about meeting your inner Rebel Heart? Feel free to connect with me for a complimentary Power Hour Session. 60 Minutes dedicated to discovering you. How delicious is that? Connect With Me Here
Wishing you A Day as Beautiful As You!
Much Love,
Lisa
The fact that I made it up of course! It is true...my company is a made up "job" that brings me many gifts. Freedom, Pleasure, Passion, Purpose and Joy.
One day I was speaking my truth and I offended a follower on Facebook. Let's call her Sandra Sufferer. This called in the drama, and allowed for everyone's fear to flood the surface. Later I discovered that Sandra Sufferer had posted on Facebook that I was so pathetic that I needed to make up my own job. And the effect of reading that statement was so....freeing!
I loved it. Of course I made up my own job. Before reading this I was trying to fit into the role of a life coach. And I had no fucking idea what a life coach was. I gave myself permission to drop the title of coach. I started to play with my title. I am a Community Creator and Connector. I am a Rebel Hearted Woman. I am exactly who I am in any given moment.
My business allows me to be me. I am able to stand in my truth, to speak my truth, to listen, to hug, to heal, to play and grow. To Glow and To Flow. I am able to help women stand and speak their truth. I am able to create and hold space for women to transform their lives. I am able to do what I love and love what I do every moment of every day.
Who wouldn't love that?
Are you looking to connect with your passion? Want to stand in and speak your truth? Curious about meeting your inner Rebel Heart? Feel free to connect with me for a complimentary Power Hour Session. 60 Minutes dedicated to discovering you. How delicious is that? Connect With Me Here
Wishing you A Day as Beautiful As You!
Much Love,
Lisa
Wednesday 8 January 2014
The Balancing Act
Life is truly our greatest teacher. This past weekend I was taught a lesson on balance. And if I may be really candid...it wasn't a very pleasant lesson in the moment. However, now that I am on the other side of it...I can see the blessing in it.
I am participating in a group coaching program called "Loving Your 3P's" with Mai Vu . I have been partnered with an amazing and loving woman named Karen. And 99% of the time we are on the same wave length. This program involves a lot of deep and emotional work. So there are a few times where we trigger one another. Saturday was one of those times.
Karen is one of those women who focuses wholeheartedly on her family and personal relationships. On Saturday she was sharing with me her struggles. And as I was listening I was trying to get some items on my business to do list checked off. Now I knew that Karen was trying to muster up some energy to gain some momentum for her business but that took a pause as she tended to her personal relationships.
Of course I handled this situation with grace and sensitivity....NOT! Instead I asked her if she thought maybe she had created the drama in her personal relationships as a way of distracting her working on her business. This of course did not meet a warm reception and ended with me telling her that I couldn't discuss it with her further because it left me wanting to rescue her. It didn't matter to me that she wasn't a victim and didn't require rescuing. All that mattered in that moment is how blind I thought that she was being. And how frustrated I was by how she had the audacity to turn me away.
It didn't occur to me until an hour later that Karen was triggering me in a major way. I was upset that she had the nerve to put personal relationships before her business. Here I am putting business in the forefront and personal relationships on the back burner. Why can't she just see that my way was the right way? My husband and daughter will wait until I get this whole business thing sorted out.....right?
What an ugly truth I had to face staring back at me in the mirror....I was doing it AGAIN! Spending all of my time and energy on the business. Expecting those that I love most in life to wait. To just stay dormant until the magical day came that that business was running smoothly and I had time to lounge around and love them. Because of course I have a crystal ball that predicts that this day will happen much before my baby is a teenager who would rather be locked in her room than snuggle with her Mom.
This was so incredibly painful to find myself here...AGAIN. Without noticing I had slipped back into the same old pattern. Just like putting on those comfy runners that were miled out years ago. Comfy and familiar but no longer enough to support you and keep you injury free.
So where did I go from here? First I denied it. This isn't right. Everyone knows a new business takes extra care and attention during its first three years. Like a newborn baby. Ignore the fact that I spent my daughter's first years fully immersed in other businesses. Don't remind me of that. And certainly don't mention the fact that out of the five years I have been with my husband that I have found myself burnt out, wore out and disconnected from my higher self....THREE TIMES! In five years! Please, please, please - do not draw attention to that fact because I do NOT want to look at that.
The next thing I did was reach out. I contacted my coach and my BFF. I was able to let out all of the feelings that seeing that had brought up for me. Anger, shame, blame, guilt, frustration, exasperation...just to name a few. Oh sure this wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. I spent time in and out of my "dreaded judgy pants" . I let myself marinate in this pool of emotions. And then...I reached the place I am in now.
Evaluating where I really am. Where am I finding myself? And the answer to that is this:
I am in a legitimate building stage of my business. And that means that it needs my focus and attention. But it does not need my undivided attention.
My marriage is strong...for now. Chris and I have had many conversations about whether or not I am pulling my weight. And he always tells me as long as I remember that I have a daughter.
And Delly, she is closing in on being 4 years old. She changes every minute. And when I am glued to the computer and the phone....I am missing those changes. Sure she still loves me. But I am missing out. And I can't get that time back. None of us can.
This inventory shows plenty of growth opportunities...aka...room for improvement.
So here is the plan.
> Stricter business boundaries. I can make it through a meal without emailing or writing the next big program. It will be tough...but I can do it!
> Less time reading business related books. More time reading Children's Books.
> More play time. Uninterrupted play. The phone can ring and the emails can wait.
> More bubble baths. That start with me soaking and end with Delly "styling" my hair.
> More Laughter, Love and Joy
> And more romantic date nights with my handsome Husband. Any willing babysitters in the crowd? LOL.
This plan will shift and adapt as our needs do. And I will be honest...there will likely be days where I shift play time to work with a client. And I may even work through dinner. But I may also call it a snow angel day and cancel work just to hang out with Delly. The important part is that I have gained awareness as to where I am in the cycle. And I don't have to continue with it until I reach burnout. Yay for growth! Instead I have armed myself with a plan. And I have already begun to put said plan into motion.
Stay tuned for future blog posts to see how I have turned up my Joy level in both my personal relationships and my business.
If you can identify with the feeling of giving your career or business 110% til you reach burnout. Or you know what it feels like to be out of balance and your personal relationships have hit the backburner. Or your connection with your highest/wisest self is buried deep beneath a stack of ever growing to do lists....
Please consider signing up for my Rebel Hearted Woman Newsletter by clicking HERE.
Are you Needing/Wanting more than a newsletter? Click HERE to schedule a complimentary 60 minute Discovery Session with me. We can spend an hour Discovering All About YOU!
Until next time...Have a Day As Beautiful As You!
Much Love and Many Blessings,
Lisa
Picture borrowed from: http://fromsundaytomonday.org/category/seven-pillars-of-faith-and-work/
I am participating in a group coaching program called "Loving Your 3P's" with Mai Vu . I have been partnered with an amazing and loving woman named Karen. And 99% of the time we are on the same wave length. This program involves a lot of deep and emotional work. So there are a few times where we trigger one another. Saturday was one of those times. Karen is one of those women who focuses wholeheartedly on her family and personal relationships. On Saturday she was sharing with me her struggles. And as I was listening I was trying to get some items on my business to do list checked off. Now I knew that Karen was trying to muster up some energy to gain some momentum for her business but that took a pause as she tended to her personal relationships.
Of course I handled this situation with grace and sensitivity....NOT! Instead I asked her if she thought maybe she had created the drama in her personal relationships as a way of distracting her working on her business. This of course did not meet a warm reception and ended with me telling her that I couldn't discuss it with her further because it left me wanting to rescue her. It didn't matter to me that she wasn't a victim and didn't require rescuing. All that mattered in that moment is how blind I thought that she was being. And how frustrated I was by how she had the audacity to turn me away.
It didn't occur to me until an hour later that Karen was triggering me in a major way. I was upset that she had the nerve to put personal relationships before her business. Here I am putting business in the forefront and personal relationships on the back burner. Why can't she just see that my way was the right way? My husband and daughter will wait until I get this whole business thing sorted out.....right?
What an ugly truth I had to face staring back at me in the mirror....I was doing it AGAIN! Spending all of my time and energy on the business. Expecting those that I love most in life to wait. To just stay dormant until the magical day came that that business was running smoothly and I had time to lounge around and love them. Because of course I have a crystal ball that predicts that this day will happen much before my baby is a teenager who would rather be locked in her room than snuggle with her Mom.
This was so incredibly painful to find myself here...AGAIN. Without noticing I had slipped back into the same old pattern. Just like putting on those comfy runners that were miled out years ago. Comfy and familiar but no longer enough to support you and keep you injury free.
So where did I go from here? First I denied it. This isn't right. Everyone knows a new business takes extra care and attention during its first three years. Like a newborn baby. Ignore the fact that I spent my daughter's first years fully immersed in other businesses. Don't remind me of that. And certainly don't mention the fact that out of the five years I have been with my husband that I have found myself burnt out, wore out and disconnected from my higher self....THREE TIMES! In five years! Please, please, please - do not draw attention to that fact because I do NOT want to look at that.
The next thing I did was reach out. I contacted my coach and my BFF. I was able to let out all of the feelings that seeing that had brought up for me. Anger, shame, blame, guilt, frustration, exasperation...just to name a few. Oh sure this wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. I spent time in and out of my "dreaded judgy pants" . I let myself marinate in this pool of emotions. And then...I reached the place I am in now.
Evaluating where I really am. Where am I finding myself? And the answer to that is this:
I am in a legitimate building stage of my business. And that means that it needs my focus and attention. But it does not need my undivided attention.
My marriage is strong...for now. Chris and I have had many conversations about whether or not I am pulling my weight. And he always tells me as long as I remember that I have a daughter.
And Delly, she is closing in on being 4 years old. She changes every minute. And when I am glued to the computer and the phone....I am missing those changes. Sure she still loves me. But I am missing out. And I can't get that time back. None of us can.
This inventory shows plenty of growth opportunities...aka...room for improvement.
So here is the plan.
> Stricter business boundaries. I can make it through a meal without emailing or writing the next big program. It will be tough...but I can do it!
> Less time reading business related books. More time reading Children's Books.
> More play time. Uninterrupted play. The phone can ring and the emails can wait.
> More bubble baths. That start with me soaking and end with Delly "styling" my hair.
> More Laughter, Love and Joy
> And more romantic date nights with my handsome Husband. Any willing babysitters in the crowd? LOL.
This plan will shift and adapt as our needs do. And I will be honest...there will likely be days where I shift play time to work with a client. And I may even work through dinner. But I may also call it a snow angel day and cancel work just to hang out with Delly. The important part is that I have gained awareness as to where I am in the cycle. And I don't have to continue with it until I reach burnout. Yay for growth! Instead I have armed myself with a plan. And I have already begun to put said plan into motion.
Stay tuned for future blog posts to see how I have turned up my Joy level in both my personal relationships and my business.
If you can identify with the feeling of giving your career or business 110% til you reach burnout. Or you know what it feels like to be out of balance and your personal relationships have hit the backburner. Or your connection with your highest/wisest self is buried deep beneath a stack of ever growing to do lists....
Please consider signing up for my Rebel Hearted Woman Newsletter by clicking HERE.
Are you Needing/Wanting more than a newsletter? Click HERE to schedule a complimentary 60 minute Discovery Session with me. We can spend an hour Discovering All About YOU!
Until next time...Have a Day As Beautiful As You!
Much Love and Many Blessings,
Lisa
Picture borrowed from: http://fromsundaytomonday.org/category/seven-pillars-of-faith-and-work/
Sunday 5 January 2014
The Dreaded Judgy Pants
Have you ever sat in judgement? That place where you comment on the choices someone else is making in their lives? The whispers about how her ass looks in those pants. The big smile and the quick hug "Oh Darling, Did you lose weight? You are looking Fabulous!" Even though in your mind you have catalogued their wardrobe as being out of season and clinging to the muffin top and having a little wear on the cuffs of her jacket? She may have lost weight but she could really use a new hairstyle.
Or what about the time that you spend on the phone with a friend listening supportively only to get off the phone and roll your eyes and make a comment to your spouse - there is no WAY she is ready to move in with that Guy...what the fuck is she thinking?
Here is my confession. I sometimes fall into this trap. More frequently than I like to admit. And this is hard for me to admit. After all, I am a community creator and connector. I work with women every single day! I talk about how we need to band together, lift each other up and support one another. And yet, here I am today writing about how I am guilty of tearing another woman down. What is up with that?
I could sit here and pretend that I am never guilty of this hideous crime. I could be righteous and self serving and suggest that I am above all of that. And that would serve no one aside from my ego. The truth is I know when I am at risk of falling into this trap. I see the warning signs from miles away. Here are a few of them:
1) I am running myself ragged on tight deadlines
2) I am fuelling my body with processed/packaged foods and the closest I get to a vegetable is the wimpy carrots and celery that limply accompanied my greasy double fried hot wings.
3) The water I am consuming has taken the form of coffee and red wine.
4) My scale is flashing numbers that I am not loving....at least not in that order.
5) My clothes feel tight, and frumpy.
and the most common denominator:
I am not feeling very loving towards myself. I am busy bullying and pushing myself around. I certainly do not have enough love floating around that I could even consider extending to others.
When I am able to stop beating myself I become aware that I have put on my judgy pants.
What are my judgy pants? They are these hideous burnt orange in color polyester/wool blend pants. They are itchy and crackly. They are two inches two short and a size too small. And when I find myself in them....it is really uncomfortable. And to be caught wearing them is even worse. Even writing about it now makes me feel uncomfortable. Tightness grips my chest. Anxiety runs rampant about how I will be judged for judging others.
Today I am throwing caution to the wind. I am bravely going where I have not gone before. I am admitting to sitting, standing and lounging in judgement. And I invite you to join me. There is sense of freedom in declaring that you are not perfect. There is a sense of fun that comes with designing your judgy pants. And last but not least there is a sense of awareness that comes with realizing when and how we sit in judgement of others.
So here is my call to action. Look at where you are judgemental - of yourself and of others. Envision what your judgy pants look like. Admit it to yourself and... if you are feeling really brave post some of those ways in the comments below. And when you find yourself wearing your judgy pants....ask yourself what you can do to refuel your love bank so there is more love to go around.
If you like what you see here...I invite you to sign up for my Rebel Hearted Woman Newsletter List - http://eepurl.com/KY64b
Really like what you just read? Then I extend an invite you to join me for a Discovery Session. You can sign up for your complimentary 60 minute 1 on 1 session with me here: http://www.dreamitachieveit.ca/contact.html
Much Love and Many Blessings,
Lisa
Lead Life Joyfully!
Image provided by: http://blog.zerodean.com/2013/quotes/do-the-best-you-can-until-you-know-better
Or what about the time that you spend on the phone with a friend listening supportively only to get off the phone and roll your eyes and make a comment to your spouse - there is no WAY she is ready to move in with that Guy...what the fuck is she thinking?
Here is my confession. I sometimes fall into this trap. More frequently than I like to admit. And this is hard for me to admit. After all, I am a community creator and connector. I work with women every single day! I talk about how we need to band together, lift each other up and support one another. And yet, here I am today writing about how I am guilty of tearing another woman down. What is up with that?
I could sit here and pretend that I am never guilty of this hideous crime. I could be righteous and self serving and suggest that I am above all of that. And that would serve no one aside from my ego. The truth is I know when I am at risk of falling into this trap. I see the warning signs from miles away. Here are a few of them:
1) I am running myself ragged on tight deadlines
2) I am fuelling my body with processed/packaged foods and the closest I get to a vegetable is the wimpy carrots and celery that limply accompanied my greasy double fried hot wings.
3) The water I am consuming has taken the form of coffee and red wine.
4) My scale is flashing numbers that I am not loving....at least not in that order.
5) My clothes feel tight, and frumpy.
and the most common denominator:
I am not feeling very loving towards myself. I am busy bullying and pushing myself around. I certainly do not have enough love floating around that I could even consider extending to others.
When I am able to stop beating myself I become aware that I have put on my judgy pants.
What are my judgy pants? They are these hideous burnt orange in color polyester/wool blend pants. They are itchy and crackly. They are two inches two short and a size too small. And when I find myself in them....it is really uncomfortable. And to be caught wearing them is even worse. Even writing about it now makes me feel uncomfortable. Tightness grips my chest. Anxiety runs rampant about how I will be judged for judging others.
Today I am throwing caution to the wind. I am bravely going where I have not gone before. I am admitting to sitting, standing and lounging in judgement. And I invite you to join me. There is sense of freedom in declaring that you are not perfect. There is a sense of fun that comes with designing your judgy pants. And last but not least there is a sense of awareness that comes with realizing when and how we sit in judgement of others.
So here is my call to action. Look at where you are judgemental - of yourself and of others. Envision what your judgy pants look like. Admit it to yourself and... if you are feeling really brave post some of those ways in the comments below. And when you find yourself wearing your judgy pants....ask yourself what you can do to refuel your love bank so there is more love to go around.
If you like what you see here...I invite you to sign up for my Rebel Hearted Woman Newsletter List - http://eepurl.com/KY64b
Really like what you just read? Then I extend an invite you to join me for a Discovery Session. You can sign up for your complimentary 60 minute 1 on 1 session with me here: http://www.dreamitachieveit.ca/contact.html
Much Love and Many Blessings,
Lisa
Lead Life Joyfully!
Image provided by: http://blog.zerodean.com/2013/quotes/do-the-best-you-can-until-you-know-better
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