Or what about the time that you spend on the phone with a friend listening supportively only to get off the phone and roll your eyes and make a comment to your spouse - there is no WAY she is ready to move in with that Guy...what the fuck is she thinking?
Here is my confession. I sometimes fall into this trap. More frequently than I like to admit. And this is hard for me to admit. After all, I am a community creator and connector. I work with women every single day! I talk about how we need to band together, lift each other up and support one another. And yet, here I am today writing about how I am guilty of tearing another woman down. What is up with that?
I could sit here and pretend that I am never guilty of this hideous crime. I could be righteous and self serving and suggest that I am above all of that. And that would serve no one aside from my ego. The truth is I know when I am at risk of falling into this trap. I see the warning signs from miles away. Here are a few of them:
1) I am running myself ragged on tight deadlines
2) I am fuelling my body with processed/packaged foods and the closest I get to a vegetable is the wimpy carrots and celery that limply accompanied my greasy double fried hot wings.
3) The water I am consuming has taken the form of coffee and red wine.
4) My scale is flashing numbers that I am not loving....at least not in that order.
5) My clothes feel tight, and frumpy.
and the most common denominator:
I am not feeling very loving towards myself. I am busy bullying and pushing myself around. I certainly do not have enough love floating around that I could even consider extending to others.
When I am able to stop beating myself I become aware that I have put on my judgy pants.
What are my judgy pants? They are these hideous burnt orange in color polyester/wool blend pants. They are itchy and crackly. They are two inches two short and a size too small. And when I find myself in them....it is really uncomfortable. And to be caught wearing them is even worse. Even writing about it now makes me feel uncomfortable. Tightness grips my chest. Anxiety runs rampant about how I will be judged for judging others.
Today I am throwing caution to the wind. I am bravely going where I have not gone before. I am admitting to sitting, standing and lounging in judgement. And I invite you to join me. There is sense of freedom in declaring that you are not perfect. There is a sense of fun that comes with designing your judgy pants. And last but not least there is a sense of awareness that comes with realizing when and how we sit in judgement of others.
So here is my call to action. Look at where you are judgemental - of yourself and of others. Envision what your judgy pants look like. Admit it to yourself and... if you are feeling really brave post some of those ways in the comments below. And when you find yourself wearing your judgy pants....ask yourself what you can do to refuel your love bank so there is more love to go around.
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Much Love and Many Blessings,
Lisa
Lead Life Joyfully!
Image provided by: http://blog.zerodean.com/2013/quotes/do-the-best-you-can-until-you-know-better
Throw them judgy pants out! First thing to do is to forgive yourself for wearing them and burning yourself. The reward for doing that is comfy pants. Can't work to make things better in terrible pants :) It's a rule I think.
ReplyDeleteOld habits can creep up some times when we are not paying attention. But - when you can recognize it and own it and know that its not the pair of pants you look good in/want to wear.... then I agree w Terry. Forgive yourself. Do what you can to make things better and choose a better pair of pants.
ReplyDeleteThe person I am always judging most harshly is myself. I so easily help others to let themselves off of the hook while holding myself to a standard of judgement. I know I am not alone in this and I am really getting better at letting me be me in all of my glorious imperfections but its a learning curve for sure.
Although I love burnt orange, it's the poly/wool blend that causes disaster. That shit just doesn't breathe!
ReplyDeleteI love how you've connected your diet/lifestyle, self care with your perception of others. It's such a great analogy and it really makes so much sense.
When you don't take care of yourself you feel like crap and are prone to negativity and garbage thoughts. It's a toxic wasteland and vicious cycle. Love your self and loving others comes easily!
It's as though you've stumbled onto the secret of life... a holy grail of sorts.
It is great to admit we are not perfect. I have a saying... "I am perfectly imperfect and I LOVE IT!" It means I am always learning and growing. I am me and that is all I can be. Yes, I judge sometimes. But I keep catching myself faster and faster until one day, I hope I can catch myself in less than 10 seconds. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I have judgy pants. For me, it would be a hat. It would be a hat so big and tall that it could reach a second story building. It would have words, like "above it all" or "better than you" stamped all over it. Each year that passes, I know that hat grows shorter until one day it will be just barely above my head at all.