#WiseWednesday

Pain is Inevitable - Suffering is Optional.  I am not certain why it is that I feel compelled to blog on this topic because let me tell you...this quote brought with it a lot of turmoil in my life when I last posted it. However, I am feeling drawn to writing about it again...so hold on 'cuz here we go.

Do you ever choose to suffer in your life?  I know that I do.  Often in fact.  And it doesn't feel very good to admit it here...but it is the truth.

How do I define suffering?  Well, suffering is me not choosing to move on from a situation.  For wanting to wallow around in the pain of it.  Telling myself that it is something that I need to be doing.  Would you like an example?  Here is a recent one...I have been developing a product.  This includes filming some videos.  The topic is surrounding self doubt and self sabotage.  I have never made these videos before and I keep getting trapped in my own cycle of self doubt.  Technological issues really trip me up.  If it is not incredibly basic I will spin around and around, not moving forward because I will never figure it out.  Then...I start to beat myself up.  I tell myself I was stupid for even trying, it is never going to work. What a failure.  And then I topped it with what my BFF and I call "suffering gravy".  This is where I bemoan the fact that it didn't turn out.  And allow this to stop me from moving forward onto a new project.  Unwilling to see what good came from the previous attempts, what silver linings were present, what new learnings revealed themselves.  I sit in this place and I fester here until the pain of sitting in it outweighs the fear of change.  This can take seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months or even years.  It all depends on where the suffering stems from.

My mind is great at picking up old episodes of suffering off the shelf, dusting them off and replaying them like they are new releases.  The pain of that past moment does not need to exist in my present moment.  The only reason it shows up is because I have brought it here with me.  If I wanted to...I could let it go.  I could return the suffering to the shelf and allow myself to be present in this moment...a place where the past and future do not exist.

This can sound like I am just being over simplistic and perhaps even uncaring to whatever situation you may have faced or been facing but that is not true.  I make it a practice in my life to love people (and myself) because of their past and inspite of their past.  It is those experiences that have moulded and shaped you to become this beautiful being that you are in this moment.

The wisdom that I want to share with myself and anyone reading this is that we need not suffer.  We can leave the suffering of years and even seconds ago in the past where it belongs.  All we need to do in order to do that is to let go.  Connect with your breath.  Breathe in deep into your belly.  Follow your breath in through your nose, nasal passages, throat, chest, lungs and into your belly.  Witness it there.  Then watch as it leaves the belly travelling up into the lungs and chest, into your throat and mouth and nasal passages out into the world.  Let it go.  Listen to the sounds around you.  See if you can feel a breeze blowing gently across your skin.  Check in with your body and ask what it needs to feel freedom, joy and love.  Repeat this as many times as necessary.  I think that you will find you are no longer swimming in suffering gravy.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this blog post.  So please feel free to comment or email me.

Wishing you a day as Beautiful as you.

Much Love,
Lisa

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One of Those Days!

Have you ever woke up in one of those deep, dark moods?  Where the rage, and the anger and the annoyance and the irritation just oozed out of you?  Today was one of those days for me.  When my eyes first opened I was annoyed with....everything...even myself.  A place in my brain said...remember to be thankful, thankful for the roof over your head, the nice warm bed, a beautiful, healthy daughter and a handsome loving husband.  I heard that voice and for a split second I was thankful and then....I slipped right back into the annoyance.  I was grouchy in the shower, grouchy feeding animals, grouchy making smoothies.  Scratch that...I was especially grouchy while making my smoothie. Why do I need to stir more than the f'n blender does?  What is up with that?  Sure the fruit was frozen solid but IT IS A BLENDER!  BLEND DAMMIT!!!!!

This was not the kind of start to my morning that I was wanting.  I didn't want to be feeling this way and I knew that.  I also knew that I could change how it is that I feel just by thinking different thoughts.  I completed my 40/40 miracles exercise.  Then carried right through to creating a passion statement that is part of Dina Mikaela's Body By Design program.  I get that I was a grouchy rageaholic but that is no excuse not to follow through on my morning routine.  Also part of my routine is to check in on blogger bff.  I am not going to lie....I was counting on her to have some words of wisdom or wackiness that would cheer me up.  And it was the right thing to do.  A few minutes of instant messaging had me giggling about bathrobes and sneaking up on deer.  I was feeling better.

Oh sure, the annoyance returned when my husband called ten minutes later asking me to come and pick him up.  But it quickly dissolved.  There may also be more times today where the annoyance and anger bubble up to the the surface but I don't have to spend my time and energy hanging out with those emotions  I can feel better whenever I want to.  I just need to think of something that feels better.  I know that I have a choice.  And I can choose to feel better in an instant.

Want to know something?  You can too.  You don't have to wallow in feelings of stress, fear, anger, sadness.  You can choose to feel better.  Stop focusing on how terrible you feel and redirect your thoughts to something happier.  Perhaps images of you chasing deer through the forest wearing a bathrobe.  Or an episode of Big Bang Theory that made you burst out laughing.  Whatever it is....it is only a thought away.  Give yourself the gift of feeling better.

Today I am grateful for the knowledge that I can choose how I feel.

On that note....I wish you a day as Beautiful as you!

Much Love,

Lisa

One of Those Days

This morning I woke up in the middle of a crazy dream.  Some how I went from being in line to watch live theater to being in a women's penitentiary (as a visitor).  Weird.

I am one of those people who prides herself on being organized - time wise.  I can even organize people....just not my husband.

This morning when I crawled out of bed I looked over and noticed that the alarm clock said 8:32 am.  And this is gave me a bit of a start because I don't often sleep that late and I had an 8:30am video conference call.  I quickly realized that it was my husband's alarm clock so I had 30 minutes of grace time.  Because he sets his clock 30 minutes fast.  I jumped in the shower.  Made myself presentable, logged in to my computer and the call was already started.  I checked my clocks...wtf...they are 6 minutes early.  And then I tried to interact and realized...the call was yesterday.

My immediate reaction was annoyance with a side of outrage.  How could they change the date of the call without me knowing?  Why didn't the notification go to the correct email address like I requested?  Gah.  And a split second later I was able to answer those questions.  I didn't know about the date change because I didn't read the email.  I just assumed that it would be the same as last week.  And why didn't they change which account it went to?  Well they probably have their reasons.  Just like I had the responsibility that I needed to follow up with her to make sure she understood the request.  This leaves me with what I want to take away from my morning and what do I want to do with the rest of my day.

Let me tell you that it would be easy to spend the day in the victim mentality.  Unwilling to take responsibility for missing the call.  To turn the tv on and crawl back into bed.  To grumble and pout and post a status on facebook about how my day is shitty and nothing is going my way.  Or I could shift gears.  I could laugh it off.  Use it as a call to action to  contact the conference call leader and ask her to make the email address change.  I can listen to the call that I missed and glean what I can from it.  Prepare for the next one.

I chose the latter.  I helped my husband get Delly ready for day care. Helped him carry things to his car.  Kissed him goodbye and wished him a good day without being distracted by a conference call.  I had my breakfast.  Enjoyed a cup of coffee.  And now I am writing this blog post.  All of which wouldn't have happened if I were being the victim.

So today is one of those days.  The kind that doesn't start the way you would like it to.  That means that it has the opportunity to be something even better.  If you are open to it.  If you want it to be.  Or it can be shitty.  And you can complain to everyone around you about it. THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Choose to have a day as Beautiful as you!

Much Love,

Lisa

What Would You Do?

Normally I am the type of person who says too much in a situation.  I'm that annoying person who gives you advice even though you didn't ask for it.  My friends are used to it and either take it, or blatantly ignore it.  Each of you know which category you fall in.  LOL.

Tonight's blog is about what I should have said.  Have you ever been presented with a chance to say something and you didn't seize the opportunity?  This afternoon I witnessed something that has stuck with me.

Chris and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful afternoon.  We picked Delaney up early from the day home and went to the spray park.  During our initial lap around the park I noticed that there was a young dad who was walking across the park carrying a small pair of shoes and keys.  I also noticed a 6 year old girl playing with a mounted water gun that sprays and swivels around.  As she was having fun with the spray gun she managed to get the young dad wet.  I continued to watch to see what his reaction was.  It was far from pretty.  He was aghast that he got wet.  I mean the absolute nerve of a 6 year old spraying him with water.  How dare she get him wet.  Didn't she realize that he was simply there to watch his child play.  He of course was just there to watch his son play, not to play himself.

What would you do if you were walking through a spray park surrounded by no less than forty children and water spraying everywhere?  I for one, expected there was a high risk of getting wet.  He on the other hand started yelling to his girlfriend that this kid soaked him.  Then, he proceeded to grab her by the arm and pull her in from of the gun and sprayed her from chest to ankles and back again.  I am sure that he meant this to be a form of punishment.  The girl just laughed and ran to the next spray area.  I looked to see if the girl's parents had witnessed this act of manliness but alas they were nowhere to be seen.

I should have said something to him.  Part of me would like to hid behind the excuse that I was simply too shocked to react instantaneously.

We continued to play at the spray park.  Delaney was running back and forth while Chris and I watched from our perch on the retainer wall.  A few minutes later an organic smell wafted across the park.  Chris snidely commented that he suddenly had the munchies.  I told him that I sincerely hoped it was an actual skunk. The smell continued to get stronger.  I decided that we either had to leave or move up wind.  As I stood to investigate the source was instantly clear.  It was Mr. Manly Man from the earlier. I am not sure that this surprised me.  As I looked closer I realized that him and his girlfriend were smoking the joint in the van WITH HIS CHILD IN IT!!!!When they get finished smoking their joint they sauntered back to the spray park.

I wanted to say something to him so very badly.  I couldn't tell you what would have been the exact words I would have chosen but they would have been scathing.  Lucky for me I had my voice of reason by my side....Chris.  He was telling me that I needed to stay out of it. And truth be told I have no way of determining how he would react.  Chris also told me that the joint could be keeping Mr. Manly from beating his girlfriend and his child.  Maybe that is the case.  Maybe it is not.

What I do know for sure is that the next time I am presented with a situation that sets off alarm bells I am going to follow my instinct and react.

What would you have done?  Have you ever faced a situation like this?  How did it turn out?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Much Love,

Lisa

Fear? Or Faith??? Victim? Or Leader?

Day 23 of the #31 Day Blog Challenge.  Woot Woot.

As I was standing in the shower ( I do my best thinking there) I started to question where I make my decisions from.  When I am making a decision do I make it from a place of fear?  Filling the role of the Victim?  Or do I make the decision from a place of Faith? As a Leader of my Life?  Do I stand in a position of Power?  Or crouch in the corner and cower?  

We are always presented with choices.  There is a flip side to every coin.  I am not saying that there is always a choice that is filled with sunshine and rainbows.  Sometimes we have to choose between two outcomes and neither of them seem very good.  That is what life is like at times.  It is our mindset that determines the outcome.  If we make choices as a victim we will never be pleased with the turnout.  We will always be looking to fix blame on someone.  Even if the outcome was good...we will be looking to blame someone for why it wasn't even better.  And that someone we will fix blame on will never be ourselves.  It will always be others.  When we make a decision from a place of power we are focusing less on the problem and more on the solution.  We can see the current choice as a springboard or stepping stone to move us further ahead.  When we act out of fear we are unable to move ahead smoothly because we are dragging the past along with us.  All that baggage makes it hard to move forward with much momentum. 

When you go to make a decision ask yourself...fear or faith...where am I acting from?  If it is fear...call a time out.  Take a deep breath and look at how you could tweak your mindset to make yourself feel better about the decision. Do YOUR best.  That is all that matters.  And remember...you are exactly where you should be. After all you have spent your entire life getting to this very spot.

"Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear." - George Addair

Have a Brave and Beautiful Day!

Much Love,
Lisa

A Few Quotes....

I have a book.  It is divided into three sections.  In the first section I write all that I am grateful for.  Some days I write one thing down.  Some days I can fill pages.

In the second section I write all of my dreams and hopes for my future...and the future of my friends, family and the world.

The third section is comprised of quotations.  I find these quotes in books that I read, facebook and even moments on pinterest.

Tonight, I would like to share with you a page of those quotes.  I hope that you enjoy them and they speak to you in a way that they spoke to me.

You can't make the other fellow feel important in your presence if you secretly feel he is a nobody. - Les Giblin.

I you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Abe Lincoln

Fear nothing but to waste the present moment - Mark Sanborn

The average estimate themselves by what they do, the above average by what they are. Johann Friedrich Von Schiller.

Courage is the most important of all virtues, because without courage, you cannot practice any of the other virtues consistently. - Maya Angelou

A voice in me said, you have to rise to the occasion or the best in you will die.  we always have that voice; we just ahve to make a choice to listen to it. We all have it; that's God's given right, It's just whether you have the courage to step into your destiny. Lily Yeh

Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion. Gerog Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do & liking how you do it. Maya Angelou

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody. Herbert Bayard Swope

The is only one success...to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley

My wish for you reading this is that you find the passion within you and that you let it bubble over and spill out into all that you do and that will lead you in the direction of your destiny.

Have a day as Beautiful as You!

Much Love,
Lisa

Loving what you do makes all the difference.

I have been thinking about this post since Friday.  I didn't take the time to write it until now because I spent the weekend camping with the family.

On Friday I went for lunch with a friend of mine.  He is a successful realtor and he works a lot.  Long hours. Many days in a row.  When I asked him what he was spending the weekend doing...he told me that he was working.  I asked him what he thought about the hours that he put in and whether or not it is worthwhile.  He told me that he loves hat he does so much that it doesn't seem like work.  And his hard work affords him  life style that he can go and enjoy his time off when he takes it.

When I was driving home from my lunch I noticed that a busy intersection was being directed by two traffic cops.  As I was waiting in the loooonnnnnnnnnggggggggg line I couldn't help but think of what those officers must have thought when they received that assignment.  I was thinking...busy intersection, beautiful Friday afternoon, yup, I would not want that job.  As I edged closer to the intersection one of the officers was directing me to turn left.  He kept edging me closer to the other lane.  Further and further and further.  Until I was literally in inch from his shins.  He then acted like I hit him.  Put on a clown act and a great big grin.  I laughed and laughed.  It made my entire day.  He made it into a joke.  And that made me realize why it is important to make the best of every situation.

It made me think...Loving what you do makes all the difference in the world.  It gives you the extra energy and enthusiasm to keep moving forward.  To have fun in a situation when others would frown through it.  To get up every day and make an impact.  Do you love what you do?  Do you love it so much to see it through?
My wish for you is that you do.  There will be days that are hard and frustrating.  But in the end it will all be worth it.  Do what you Love and See it Through.

Wishing you a day as Beautiful as you!

Much Love,
Lisa