The Naked Truth of It

Lately I have been doing a lot of work when it comes to myself.  I am not talking about me physically working..like cleaning the house or anything like that.  Just ask my husband....I have certainly not spent much time doing that.

What I have been doing is working with a coach.  And she pushes me. She sets the bar just outside my comfort zone and makes me reach for it.  She encourages me.  And she sees my potential - and that in itself is freeing.  Now this coaching relationship is not all love and pink fluffy Unicorns.  It is a relationship that is based on truth and trust.  And sometimes that means that she has to tell me to quit whining and get my shit done.  Now you may be thinking that this is a little harsh.  Let me tell you it is exactly what I need in that very moment.  Her words slice through the fear and free my feet.  They allow me to get my ass moving and start gaining momentum.  And for this I am grateful.

Now this post isn't really here to tell you about how wicked awesome my coach is....that would be deserving of a post all on its own.  What I want to talk to you about is the naked truth of it.

Whenever you decide that you want something bigger and brighter for yourself it involves a lot of work.  And that work isn't all fun.  It means spending time looking at what lies you have convinced yourself of being true.  It means digging around in the darkest corners of your mind.  Shining light on all of your fears and looking them in the eye.  And this does not happen over night.  At least it hasn't for me.  And I am grateful that it is a bit of a process because it means that I only have to look for as long as I can stand to and then I am free to scamper back to the light.

I am three weeks into this journey and there have been times where I have wanted to quit.  To just curl up into a fetal position and rest easily knowing my own patterns will continue to serve me.  You see I have learned that I am a person who lives life all in.  The throttle is wide open, I am in high gear and the gear shift is ripped right off....there is no slowing me down.  Now this can be a huge adrenaline rush....and it typically is...but it can also be a lot like a roller coaster coming off its tracks.  It is all consuming and it is exhausting...and once the coaster car leaves the track....I am left burnt out.  With nothing left to give...to my work, my friends, my family or even myself.  This is a pattern that I am willing to break.  To modify in a way that suits me.  To learn to down shift gears once and awhile.  Even pull over and enjoy the view.

There are times when it feels like I have pried open the lid to Pandora's box.  And the suppressed emotions and fears are flying up at my face like bats flying out of cave.  It's uncomfortable and it is downright scary.  And I question why it is that I do it.  And I ask...Is this worth it?  Fear plays tricks on me.  Tells me that I am not worthy.  I  don't deserve it.  That freedom, fame, fortune, happiness will never be mine.  It is in those moments where I  need to sit with the fear.  Thank it for being there with me and ask it what it is trying to show me.  Breathe it in....and then breathe it out and breathe in all of my dreams.  Let them illuminate my heart and lead my way out of the darkness.  The best part of working with a coach is that when I feel that I am so wrapped up and stuck in the fear all I need to do is reach out and ask my coach to hold the lantern and shine light on the path.

I am here in this moment because I am meant to be here.  Right here.  In this very place.  You and I...All of Us....possess a beautiful gift that is meant to be used to shine light on the path of others.  I refuse to let fear stand in the way of me doing so.  I hope you do too.

I wish you a day as Beautiful as You Are!

Much Love,

Lisa

Ps.  I you want to learn more about the coach who is helping me on my journey check out www.maivucoach.com

What Would You Do?

Normally I am the type of person who says too much in a situation.  I'm that annoying person who gives you advice even though you didn't ask for it.  My friends are used to it and either take it, or blatantly ignore it.  Each of you know which category you fall in.  LOL.

Tonight's blog is about what I should have said.  Have you ever been presented with a chance to say something and you didn't seize the opportunity?  This afternoon I witnessed something that has stuck with me.

Chris and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful afternoon.  We picked Delaney up early from the day home and went to the spray park.  During our initial lap around the park I noticed that there was a young dad who was walking across the park carrying a small pair of shoes and keys.  I also noticed a 6 year old girl playing with a mounted water gun that sprays and swivels around.  As she was having fun with the spray gun she managed to get the young dad wet.  I continued to watch to see what his reaction was.  It was far from pretty.  He was aghast that he got wet.  I mean the absolute nerve of a 6 year old spraying him with water.  How dare she get him wet.  Didn't she realize that he was simply there to watch his child play.  He of course was just there to watch his son play, not to play himself.

What would you do if you were walking through a spray park surrounded by no less than forty children and water spraying everywhere?  I for one, expected there was a high risk of getting wet.  He on the other hand started yelling to his girlfriend that this kid soaked him.  Then, he proceeded to grab her by the arm and pull her in from of the gun and sprayed her from chest to ankles and back again.  I am sure that he meant this to be a form of punishment.  The girl just laughed and ran to the next spray area.  I looked to see if the girl's parents had witnessed this act of manliness but alas they were nowhere to be seen.

I should have said something to him.  Part of me would like to hid behind the excuse that I was simply too shocked to react instantaneously.

We continued to play at the spray park.  Delaney was running back and forth while Chris and I watched from our perch on the retainer wall.  A few minutes later an organic smell wafted across the park.  Chris snidely commented that he suddenly had the munchies.  I told him that I sincerely hoped it was an actual skunk. The smell continued to get stronger.  I decided that we either had to leave or move up wind.  As I stood to investigate the source was instantly clear.  It was Mr. Manly Man from the earlier. I am not sure that this surprised me.  As I looked closer I realized that him and his girlfriend were smoking the joint in the van WITH HIS CHILD IN IT!!!!When they get finished smoking their joint they sauntered back to the spray park.

I wanted to say something to him so very badly.  I couldn't tell you what would have been the exact words I would have chosen but they would have been scathing.  Lucky for me I had my voice of reason by my side....Chris.  He was telling me that I needed to stay out of it. And truth be told I have no way of determining how he would react.  Chris also told me that the joint could be keeping Mr. Manly from beating his girlfriend and his child.  Maybe that is the case.  Maybe it is not.

What I do know for sure is that the next time I am presented with a situation that sets off alarm bells I am going to follow my instinct and react.

What would you have done?  Have you ever faced a situation like this?  How did it turn out?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Much Love,

Lisa

Fear? Or Faith??? Victim? Or Leader?

Day 23 of the #31 Day Blog Challenge.  Woot Woot.

As I was standing in the shower ( I do my best thinking there) I started to question where I make my decisions from.  When I am making a decision do I make it from a place of fear?  Filling the role of the Victim?  Or do I make the decision from a place of Faith? As a Leader of my Life?  Do I stand in a position of Power?  Or crouch in the corner and cower?  

We are always presented with choices.  There is a flip side to every coin.  I am not saying that there is always a choice that is filled with sunshine and rainbows.  Sometimes we have to choose between two outcomes and neither of them seem very good.  That is what life is like at times.  It is our mindset that determines the outcome.  If we make choices as a victim we will never be pleased with the turnout.  We will always be looking to fix blame on someone.  Even if the outcome was good...we will be looking to blame someone for why it wasn't even better.  And that someone we will fix blame on will never be ourselves.  It will always be others.  When we make a decision from a place of power we are focusing less on the problem and more on the solution.  We can see the current choice as a springboard or stepping stone to move us further ahead.  When we act out of fear we are unable to move ahead smoothly because we are dragging the past along with us.  All that baggage makes it hard to move forward with much momentum. 

When you go to make a decision ask yourself...fear or faith...where am I acting from?  If it is fear...call a time out.  Take a deep breath and look at how you could tweak your mindset to make yourself feel better about the decision. Do YOUR best.  That is all that matters.  And remember...you are exactly where you should be. After all you have spent your entire life getting to this very spot.

"Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear." - George Addair

Have a Brave and Beautiful Day!

Much Love,
Lisa