Growth is Intentional

A couple of months ago I read the book "The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth' by John C. Maxwell. In the book it speaks that growth doesn't just happen - it is intentional.  I am not certain why this seemed like such a profound statement.  Ever since then I have been constantly checking in with myself and seeing if I am setting myself up for growth.

Now when I am talking about growth I mean all kinds.

Physical growth - am I doing the work to become fitter, faster, stronger and more flexible?  Well the answer to that is not a pretty one these days.  I am growing...but it is my waistline.  I am not putting the work in to see the results that I want.  I play football but outside of that I am not doing much else.  My food choices are incongruent with my growth goals.  Now that may be painful to announce to the world but once you are aware of an issue you are able to change it.

Mental growth - Am I learning new things?  Am I reading about things that will bring me closer to my goals and challenge me?  Or am I reading things so that I can disengage my brain?  Same goes for what I am watching on television.  Am I trying to grow or trying to escape?  Am I doing things each day to move me closer to dreams.  Am I thinking the type of thoughts that will set me up for success?  For me I try to guard my thoughts.  I rarely watch the news, scary movies, or read anything that doesn't come from the non-fiction section of the library.  I am enrolled in a course or several.  It is the area of my life where I give it the most focus.

Spiritual growth - This area is always different for everyone.  We all have our own very personal beliefs surrounding spirituality and faith.  When it comes to my spiritual growth I always try to check in and see, am I in touch with something larger than myself?  Do I serve others? Do I spend time in silence?  Do I listen for the wisdom that comes from being in touch with this energy?  Do I carve out time to be consistent with this each day?  The answer to this is that I am not perfect at this.  It ebbs and flows.  Sometimes I am seriously dedicated.  And other times my spiritual focus is taken for granted.  Have you ever had this happen? Or do you remain diligent?

Growth requires our attention and planning.  John C. Maxwell speaks of a growth plan.  Where you  apply the Law of Intentionality to your life.  Where you stop experiencing accidental growth and start intentionally growing yourself.  Which do you think will move you closer to achieving your goals/dreams and living your life's purpose?  Bruce Springsteen said "A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be."

Do you have a growth plan?  Do you grow intentionally? Or accidentally?  If you are needing some assistance with developing a growth plan please feel free to visit my webpage and contact me there.  www.DreamItAchieveIt.ca
For those of you who are already intentionally growing - Keep up the great work.  Intentional growth vs accidental growth is the difference between Ordinary and Extraordinary.

I wish you a day just as beautiful as you are.

Much Love,
Lisa

Lead Life Joyfully

Pet Peeves Post

Today is the day I wanted to share with you my list of pet peeves.  The things that bother me to the point of insanity.  Why would I want to post these you may ask?  Well because over the next couple of weeks I am going to search for a way that I can shift my thinking and not let these be my problem any more.  I will retrain myself so that I do not react the same way each time as that reaction does not serve me well.

So here it goes....

1.  Being Late...If I even think that I am going to be late I can feel myself getting anxious, annoyed and upset.  Actually, that is a lie.  I begin to morph into Medusa.  Or better yet Medusa's ugly step sister who could spit venom everywhere.  It is very rare that I am late and when there is even the slightest chance of me being late...I am notifying those who would be waiting on me.

2.  Late people.  For those of you know me, you know all too well that my husband runs in an entirely different time zone than anyone else we know.  He can turn four minutes into forty.  But I married him  So I get to deal with it for the next 50+ years.  The reason late people bother me so much is that when they keep people waiting it seems to say that their time is more valuable than that of those who are waiting.  And I am not okay with that.  I plan my day around appointments, I factor in drive times, construction and other road related issues.  Why can't others?

3.  Toxic Waste Dumpers.  I am sure that you have people like them in your life.  I am guilty of this on occasion as well. They call you up or text you...spouting off all the negative things that you can possibly imagine.  They go on and on and on.  They want you to lend a sympathetic ear.  To offer solutions regarding their particular situation.  And the whole time...they never once inquired as to how you are doing.  At the very least...say Hello before you start dumping all your shit on me. Even though I am a brightside/silver lining type of person....there are days where I have my own stuff going on and I may like to discuss it.

4.  Negativity as a default mindset.  I understand that the vast majority of people always see things in a negative light before they can see the bright side.  That they first have to look at the situation and only see what is WRONG with it.  And then they look at worst case scenario and spend their energy there.  And finally they spend a great deal of energy living their life as if the worst case scenario has already occurred.  Only after that gets old do they start to see things in a positive light. My first reaction to a situation is always the negative default however, I only stay there for under a minute.  I start to see what the lesson is that is hidden in the situation.  Find The Lesson, Learn The Lesson, Live The Lesson.  And I get that it is indeed much easier for me to think positively because I have been actively working on changing my thoughts and my mindset since 2007.  I am getting to be pretty darn good at it.  Of course there is always room for improvement but if I can change my thoughts anyone can.

So in the next half of the year it is my goal to work on my reaction to the thought of being late.  Other people are late.  They don't have a panic attack.  So I can grant myself permission to be late if it happens.  If I plan to be on time, I account for all the circumstances within my control and still...I am late...and I will live through it.

I will stop being upset if others are late to meet me.  That is there time management issue.  I do not need to make it my issue.  I can set boundaries and ask for them to keep in mind that my schedule is important to me and that I have x amount of time to meet with them and if they are late that cuts down on that amount of time.  I can also confirm appointments an hour in advance and leave if someone is more than 15 minutes late.  And I can bring some work to do while I am waiting on someone.

When it comes to Toxic Waste Dumpers...I can set better boundaries.  Someone may want to dump on me...but I don't need to listen.  Nor do I have to respond.  Or I can tell them...that is nice..sandwich it between two positives.

And for the negative mindset...I can lead by example and hope that my way of thinking rubs off on them.

Do you have any other suggestions?  What about you?  Do you have any pet peeves that wear on you?

Much Love,
Lisa

Will you Will?

The last couple of weeks have been heavy. Sure they have had some totally awesome and lively and lovely moments...I am not discounting that in the slightest. However, sometimes there are heavy moments. Three weeks ago I attended a funeral for two of my friends' father. It was an incredible celebration of life. I won't go into great details here but it was amazing to see how much energy this man put into his life. He was vibrant and vital and passionate and just...full of life. Each photo captured his essence. I had never ever met him and yet I felt that I got to know him over the course of this celebration of life. I did the best that I could to help my friends and their family make it through the day and handle their grief.

 As I was driving home...I was moved to tears. The same questions passed through my mind after a funeral...who would attend my funeral if I were to die tomorrow? Did I live my life to the best of my ability? Did I share my gifts with others? Did I make an impact? Did I love? Did I matter? Did I make someone else's life better by being in it? Did I make amends? These thoughts stayed with me. Inspiring me to look for ways that I could do more. Less than 10 days later my beloved Great Aunt passed away. This lead to further reflection. Are my affairs in order? Will I be leaving my loved ones with a huge headache to deal with? Do people know what my wishes are? Do they understand how I would like to be remembered? Would they know to donate my organs if that option is available?  How would my eulogy read? What would my epitaph say? All of these questions weigh on my mind these days.

I speak to everyone who will listen to me about death. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer or anything like that. Death does not scare me. In fact it is not even people's greatest fear in life...Public speaking is. Death is just part of the cycle. And depending on your beliefs it could lead to great reward. Or a chance to live again.

In talking with people I did find that people are afraid to write a will.  Like it would somehow symbolize that they are not immortal.  That the grim reaper will add them to the list once the will is registered.  But that is not the case.  The life and death cycle will become complete when it is our time.  So take the time while you still have time to put your affairs in order.  To ensure that those you leave behind are not having to deal with the added pressure of figuring out what you want for your life celebration.  So that they are not having to try and make decisions on your behalf when you are not around to answer the questions.  And if they cannot reach a decision they will have to rely on the courts to do so...is that really what you would want?

What I have found is that people do not want to face death alone.  We like the support of those we love to be with us.  To help get us through.  So I thought...what is the best way that we could help make writing wills easier, less intimidating, less fearful.  And this is the solution I came up with....

We are going to have a will party. We will dress like zombies and angels, and reapers and goblins or whatever our hearts desire. And we will invite our friends. We will "will" and then after we will celebrate with one another. Perhaps even share our fondest memories of each other. What we will always remember about each other. Share stories of how we touched each others lives. And we will sleep well knowing that when the end comes...our families will have a road map to follow.

Now not everyone will agree with me.  Some of you may think that this should be done in private.  And that is perfectly acceptable.  What I do encourage you to do...is to write a will.  Alone, with people, wearing purple pajamas...how ever you want to but be sure to write a will.  In the end when you are gone it will do nothing for you but it will be a great relief to those who you leave behind.

Much Love,

Lisa

Ps:  I promise that tomorrow Day Six of #31DBC will be of a much more uplifting topic.

Look Before You Leap

This morning I was having a tough time deciding what it is that I should write about today.  Typically I have an idea the night before.  But last night...nothing.  And this morning...nothing.  And I was starting to wonder...hmm when is it going to hit me?  I have lots to do to today.  Not a lot of time to sit in front of the computer...I can't fail at this challenge.  It is only Day four for Heaven's Sake.  The spiral had started.  I was about to get sucked into the negative vacuum.  And it is too early in the day to get on the negative roller coaster.  My inside voice yelled "STOP".

Let's examine the facts.  It is not yet 9 am.  Just because I do not have a solid idea for a blog post does not mean that I will not come up with one.  So stop borrowing trouble.  Just because I have a busy day does not mean that I cannot find five minutes to even post a picture or a quote and my thoughts on that.  ANY post qualifies as a post.  There is no word minimum.  No standardized set of guidelines that must be followed to a tee in order for a blog post to count.  I was starting to feel a little better all ready.  WHEW.

Now where does the look before you leap title come from?  I spent the first thirty minutes of my morning jumping to the conclusion that I was going to find a way to screw this challenge up.  And when I wasn't focusing on that I was expecting someone I was emailing to react in a negative way.  In fact I nearly put my neck out jumping to that conclusion.  Imagine my surprise when the email was polite and pleasant and left me feeling loved.

This may not seem like profound growth to you but I know that I am making progress.  I am witnessing these events as they are playing out and intervening before the negative spiral gets out of control.  When I think negative thoughts about a topic or situation or myself these days I recognize that I am doing so after only a thought or four.  Rather than the thousand and four.  I will take that as a win.  And a win...no matter how small is still a WIN.

On that note, I am going to draw this post to a close. This post may not be pretty or profound...however, it is still a post.  I have learned something.  Maybe you have too.

When you find yourself jumping to conclusions:
How someone may react
How the day will turn out
How a post will turn out
Feel free to add to the list...

STOP!  Look before you leap.  Try to sort out some facts.  See if your ego is just running its own negative agenda.  Search for the bright side or the silver lining as my Grandmother would say.  Take five deep breaths and begin again.  Give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt.  They are doing the best that they can in that very moment.  You are too. React in kindness.  To yourself and others.

I wish you a day as Beautiful as you are.

Much Love,

Lisa

Lead Life Joyfully

Sometimes You Need To Adjust Your Point Of View

There are times in our life when we become rigid.  Where we refuse to see something from a different view point.  When we don't want to adjust our thoughts.  Or even our schedules.  If you ever feel the need to force an attitude adjustment upon yourself but you aren't sure how to do it...spend time with a three year old.  It always works for me.

On Canada Day, my Husband, Daughter and I joined our friends at the neighborhood festivities.  Delaney reminded me that things happen exactly as they should and when they should.  It is funny how a three year old runs their life based on exactly what they want to do when they want to do it.  They do not burden themselves with what someone else may think of them.  They just live.  They laugh.  They play.  They seek Joy.  And somewhere along the way as they grow older they start to adjust their mindset and behavior to fit the mold of society.  I personally think that we could all do with adjusting our mindset to be more like that of a three year old.

Stay with me, I am getting to the point.

You see, part of the festivities included cultural dancers.  We found a spot on the grass with a good view of the stage and watched the performances.  Delaney on the other hand danced right along with them on her little patch of grass.  She didn't care if others were watching.  She didn't care if she didn't know the steps.  She just let the music and the moment move her.  There were a few other people dancing and moving to the music but they were all under the age of 5.  As I surveyed the crowd I noticed that most adults who were watching were rigid.  There were some smiles but any time that an adult started to get swept away by the music they quickly glanced around to see if someone saw them.  Heaven forbid you get caught clapping along to celtic dancers and the bagpipes.

When we had enough sunshine and fun we decided to head home.  Just before we left the park Delaney's balloon met an unfortunate demise.  Her Dad decided that he would run back and grab a new one while I continued home with Delaney.  I am not certain if you have ever had the pleasure of walking any distance with a three year old.  If you have you will know that it doesn't matter how fast you want to go...you will have no choice but to go at their speed.

I was wanting Delaney to hustle because it was hot and I could tell that she would be cranky and I would soon have to carry her and her purple cowboy hat the six blocks home.  She did not seem to possess the same degree of urgency.  In fact the more I asked her to hustle the slower she walked.  Finally I decided that I would surrender the need to hurry.  I let her be the leader.  We walked taking teeny weeny steps.  We marched for a time.  Traveled an entire block hopping over each crack and the following block hoping on every crack.  Then we came to a block that was a luscious green space.  Delaney decided that we were to crawl like cats.  For a moment my 'adult' brain drew the line.  It objected to me crawling on the grass like a fool along side of a busy street.  What would people think?  How foolish would I look?  I gave my head a shake.  Who cares if people pointed and laughed?  I was sharing a fun and carefree moment with my Daughter.  So we crawled.  Laughing at how the grass tickled our hands and knees.  We examined the "beautiful flowers" aka dandelions.  We watched the ants that were on a mission.  We were present in that very moment.  Once we reached the path we had the sun at our back and our shadows traveled before us.  The laughter that erupted at our attempts at creating shadow puppets was precious.

Delaney will probably never remember this walk home.  But I do know that I will never forget it.  All too soon she will grow older.  She will begin to conform to expectations of society and I will be the one who will have to remind her that it is perfectly fine to march to the beat of her own drum.  But on this very day she was the teacher.  We take life too seriously at times.  We are rushed and hurrying to reach our destination.  We forget to take time to enjoy the journey.  I will be forever grateful that I took the time to be present and to travel like a three year old.  To see things from her point of view.

My wish for you is that you remember that life is a journey not a destination.  Do not spend so much time and energy on what others may think and say.  Focus on what brings you joy.  After all that is what makes the journey beautiful and worthwhile.

Much Love,

Lisa

Ask Yourself...Will You Look Back At This And Laugh?

Here is my best shot at Day 2 of the 31 Daily Blog Challenge...

Today my Daughter taught me an important lesson.  I have mentioned it before that she is one of my greatest teachers.  Today her lesson was one that came with perfect timing.

My Mom had asked me to please come to the farm and give her a hand for a couple of days.  Of course I would go ahead and do that.  Why wouldn't I...she is my Mom after all.

As I was making the drive I was listening to an audio book that corresponds with a training course I am doing.  I was driving along thinking...we have now entered the second half of 2013.  What is it that I need to do to keep me on track for achieving my goals this year?  Am I taking things seriously enough?  Am I being diligent?  Am I doing what I need to be doing every day to grow my businesses?  Am I leading my life?  Or just surviving? Am I helping and serving others?  And am I taking time and making time for Joy in my life?

The further along I drove the longer my to do list was becoming.  My summer bucket list was growing and I was beginning to wonder when I would have enough time to fit everything in.  I didn't have too much time to wonder as we had arrived in Bonnyville.

We met my Mom for lunch at a local cafe.  Just after our meal had arrived my Daughter decided she needed to visit the powder room.  Since she is three years old...I have to go with her.  As I was washing my hands Delaney took the time to tuck the back of my dress into my underwear.  I must not have been present in the moment because I never noticed.  Never noticed that is until I was halfway across the cafe headed back to my seat.  A mortified server mentioned this fact to me.

I was provided with a choice...a) run out the back door and hope that my Mom figured it out and met me at the car or b) laugh about it.

I chose to laugh about it.  As did quite a few others.  So the next time you are in an awkward/embarrassing/mortifying moment...Ask yourself...will I be able to look back at this situation and laugh about it?  If the answer is YES don't waste the time...laugh right then and there.  You will find you feel so much better about things in that very instant.  No need to carry that embarrassment, shame, worry or anger around for a year or so.  Just let it go.  (And blog about it later).

My lessons of the day:
1) Don't take yourself too seriously
2) Take time to laugh (and make others laugh as well)
3) Always make sure your ass is covered

I wish you a day just as beautiful as you are.

Lead Life Joyfully.

Much Love,
Lisa
www.DreamItAchieveIt.ca

Please note:  This is an internet image as I chose to save you from having to witness a dress in undies reenactment involving my own arse.  You are welcome.

The Mighty Spartan Sprint

On June 30th I had the pleasure of running the Spartan Sprint in Edmonton.  The day prior to the race I received a warning that the hills were a bitch.  I believed her to a certain point.  It wasn't until we arrived on site that I began to fully comprehend what she meant.  They were announcing the start of the 930 heat.  We watched as some runners sprinted off the start and others had much more humble beginnings.

We decided to jump in on the 10am heat.  As we lined up in the corral, we cheered on people who were completing their final obstacle.  We listened to the DJ start to play some music, trying to amp up the racers...after a few minutes the horn blew and we were off to the races...straight up the steepest hill I have ever encountered this side of the rockies.  Please tell me who in the f*ck decided that this would be a great starting obstacle?  And then kindly tell me who starts a race with a groin injury that is angry about any uphill motion.

Each hill made me dig deep.  My husband thought about sending me back down the hill.  And in fact there were times that I wanted to go back down the hill.  So I started to tell myself that I would just go up the hill and then quit at the bottom if I felt I couldn't go up the next hill.  Lucky for me I had an amazing team who would not let me quit.

My husband, Chris and great friend, Trish went with me.  We made a deal that we would look at the Spartan Sprint like a team challenge.  That we would finish together.  That we would lean on the strengths of those in our team, encourage and motivate each other and most importantly...finish together.  We would not allow a race time to be put before a team finish.  I am very grateful that we agreed on this.  As they could have easily left me behind.

Speaking of leaving behind...as we came to our second obstacle I noticed that one woman was seeming to struggle with the race.  She looked far from happy.  I said hello in passing and then carried on to the next obstacle.  As I was waiting for my team to make it over the wall, I noticed that she was having a hard time coming over the other side.  I helped to guide her feet to the narrow board and then when she dropped to the ground I peppered her with questions.  Her responses were a tad surprising

Are you running alone? Well I am now.
 Have you done this before?  Never.
Did you train?  I ran on a treadmill at the gym.
What made you want to sign up for this?  My brother needed a spare person for his work team.  He told me it was a 5 km run.  No big deal.  This is all very overwhelming.
Where is your team now?  Probably in the beer gardens.  They wanted to be competitive so they left me before the top of the first hill.
Is it meeting your expectations?  It is my first and quite possibly my last obstacle race....

She joined our team after that.  And we all finished together.  I can tell you that her joining our team was a blessing.  She didn't realize it but her needing encouragement helped me to finish the race.  Because I knew how badly she wanted to finish...she just didn't know that she had the skills to do so.  As I told her over and over that we could do this, we got this, just keep moving one foot in front of the other...it helped to reinforce it in my mind.  We can do it, we got this, we are doing it right now.  I also got to benefit from her gratitude each every time we helped her do burpees.  Let me tell you that 30 burpees are much easier when they are split up between four people.

We all finished that race within steps of one another.  Each one of us collecting a finishers medal.  There is no better way to finish off the first half of 2013.

The Spartan Sprint reminded me of many valuable lessons....

1) I can do anything I set my mind to.
2) With a strong, solid team you can jump farther, reach higher and make it through a set of monkey bars.
3) Life is sweeter when shared with those you love.
4) Always keep in mind what matters most.  I will choose my team over time - every time.
5) Sometimes the journey to the top gets dirty.  But the view from the top is worth it.
6) You only fail if you don't get back up.

The Spartan was tough.  The Super Spartan will be harder...but I tell you what...I am going to do it anyway...

If you are interested in joining my team...drop me a line: Lisa@ DreamItAchieveIt.ca

Challenge yourself to push past your limits.  I promise you that it will be worth it.

Lead Life Joyfully

Much Love,

Lisa