Selfless giving. There are plenty of times in my life where I have given to others. And the reason for giving is to help the other person out. But can I say that it is selfless? I am not too certain. Because I want to load the Karma bank. I want to leave a living legacy. For people to think of me as kind, caring, compassionate. So is that being entirely selfless? I am not doing things expecting great reward...or maybe I am. Like I said I want people to think that I am kind. I want to reaffirm to myself that I am kind. I don't really like where this is going. Maybe I am just all messed up. This sure seems to be very vulnerable. I guess what I can say is that I am at a point of personal growth. And it can be very scary. But when you push past the fear there is great reward that comes with it.It is almost like getting undressed in front of a crowd. Not like a strip joint where people are expecting it. But at like....a chamber of commerce meeting or a PTA meeting. I start out at the front of the room...asking my meaningful question and as I begin to hear the answer I am stripping away layers of myself and exposing more and more. Talk about a vulnerable state. Everyone can judge and point and heckle and laugh or chant and cheer. So here I am standing before all of you reading this trying to determine if I am really giving of my self with the intention to receive nothing back in return. And then...how do you transition to the point where you are not expecting nothing back in return not even good will.
Because what I want in return is intangible. I do not want the person I am helping at the time to think that I am the best thing since sliced bread. I am not giving of my self and time to be looked at like a superhero. What I want is to heighten my energy vibration and bring about better things in my life so that I have more to give. So where does that leave me? Am I giving selflessly or not?
Do any of you have a similar struggles? Do you struggle with reflection and self growth? Does it ever feel like you are stripping yourself naked?
Much Love,
Lisa
Lisa, that's very deep. I do think giving to others as part of an intentional legacy is selfless. My logic is this: Selfish looks only for its own gain; while you're seeking first to help others, in the realization that it will be good for everyone, including yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words. I was really uncertain as to whether or not I should post this blog.
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